The five stages of grief
by sandwriter
Summary: What if evil won? After Edward is trapped in the laboratory, Envy doesn't release him. Instead, he's is captured, and there seems to be no hope. Back at home, Ed is presumed dead by the military. Told from Ed, Roy, and finally Winry's point of view. R&R!
1. Prologue

** (A/N) This is, amongst my first fanfic, let alone FMA fanfic, is also most likely to be a one-shot, unless I get reviews. My apoligies if I get any of the charries/settings/personalities/etc wrong. The fanfic starts off in roughly the time period of the fourth volume of the manga series, when Envy threatens to kill Ed. Rated T for swearing/violence.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA, or any of the characters associated with it. Though that would be sooo cool 3**

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Envy leaned foward, regarding the alchemist with a gaze of sardonic amusement. He was clad only in black, wearing a small tight-fitting tank top, accompanied be a short black skirt and fingerless gloves. His smirking face was framed with a completely black headband, except for the solitary red trinagle in the middle. A wisp of long black hair was in his eyes, and he carelessy brushed it away, bending down to Ed.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't chibi-san," smirked Envy, "You've gotten a lot further then I thought you would. But you've seen too much, so..." He let his words linger in the air. Now, his face was only inches from Ed's. Standing up, he looked at Ed's still form with disdain. "At least you're smart enough to not try to fight me," he laughed. Edward's eyes sparked with anger. Leaping up, he swung a kick at Envy's face.

"Shut up, you bastard!" Ed spat angrily.

Envy caught Ed's leg with ease, swinging him off balance and smashing his head against the wall. But before he hit the ground, Envy grabbed the base of Edward's braid, lifting him up with almost super-human strength. "Did you just insult me, runt?" He demanded, furiously. "Well? Speak up dammit!" He was met with silence. Envy lifted him higher regarding his face, His eyes were shut, and blood was running from the side of the lip, but he was still breathing. Letting out a small sigh, he released his braid, letting Ed crumple to the ground.

Imploringly, Envy looked to the shadows, "Well?"

Lust stepped out of the shadows, her arms crossed. "Take him, we can get rid of the evidence and cover our tracks." She paused, staring at the unconsious alchemist. "Granted, I didn't expect him to be this fast. But we can still proceed as scheduled, we're in the final stage of the plan anyways."

"So we get to blow this place up, I take it?" asked Envy, roughly heaving Edward over one shoulder.

Lust nodded. "And make sure you bandage up the runt's wounds. He's too valuable to lose, now that we're so close."

----

Ed's eyes opened, slow, catiously at first, and was meant with a throbbing pain. Above him, the ceiling's light seemed to fade, then re-double, causing a splitting pain. Feeling like one of those characters in a soap opera with amnesia, he gritted his teeth. Where the hell was he? Propping himself up on his human elbow, he tried to move to a sitting position. But his pain tripled, and his vision was clouded with red. Falling back onto the pillow, he faded back into semi-concious dream world.

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**(A/N) Sorry that was so short! It was more of a prologue, really. But give me at least one review, and I swear I'll update. So R&R, people!**


	2. Reality Check

**(A/N) I'm back Luckily, the power was only out a half a day (the storm just brushed us, carnage everywhere else 0o). Despite the fact I'm happy to have my precious computer back, it feels so anti-climatic. Anyhow, enough about me. Onto the story! **

**Disclaimer: Didn't we go over this? I. Own. Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zero.**

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The first thought that entered Ed's head when he woke up wasn't gallant. It wasn't of plotting how he'd escape, or even malicious cursings of the throbbing in his head. It was of needing the bathroom. Badly. (Seriously, when in stories, do characters ever need/use the bathroom? I just had to add this because of that) Accompanying his mind-splitting headache, was a distinct jabbing pain in his abdomen. Biting his lip, he managed to prop himself up fully on his human elbow. Looking around desperately, he took stock of his surroundings.

He was in a barren room, furnished only with the bed he was lying in. The bed itself was plain white, though he noticed some dark brownish red spots of dried blood staining the sheets. His auto-mail arm was limp and useless at his side, but thankfully, as he wiggled his toes, both legs were still functioning. And, as luck would have it, the door was on the farthest side of the room.

Swinging his legs over the side of the bed and sitting up, he grabbed the bed frame as a new wave of pain and dizziness washed over him. Carefully, so he didn't pass out again, he stood up and began staggering towards the door, using the wall as a brace. Grabbing the door knob, he turned it. To his utter relief, it wasn't locked. Pausing to let his eyes adjust to the sudden light in the hallway, he gratefully swung to the right into a bathroom.

Sweet relief. As Ed finished his business, he noticed a high-set window in the wall. It was small, but he could probably fit through it. Oh well. As he thought this, something ticked in his head, but he ignored it, focusing on getting back to the bed. Now, his headache was even worse. It felt like someone was splitting it open with a hot knife. Something warm trickled down his cheek. Instinctively, he put a hand to his head, and felt something sticky. Removing his hand to see what it was, he realized it was blood. The last thing he noticed before he passed out was the smell of a hot summer's night mixed with his own salty blood.

---

Envy sighed, entering the bathroom. It was late at night, and though he didn't need to sleep, he was restless. The runty alchemist still hadn't woken up yet, and he'd been out for nearly a day already. If the alchemist died now, this late in the plan, he'd be blamed and as good as dead. So as he saw the runt's unmoving body, he swore violently. His wounds on his head had re-opened, probably from the trauma of getting up and moving around while he was still healing. Angrily, he opened the cabinet below the sink, fishing out some gauze. As he hefted the unconscious deadweight over his shoulder, something finally snapped. He roughly dropped the body onto the bead, and hurried off to find Lust.

--Later--

"Dammit Lust; I'm not a bloody babysitter!" Envy slammed his fist against the wall outside the runt's bedroom. Sighing, he placed both hands on the wall and let his head rest against its cool surface. Turning to face Lust he sighed. "Really. I'm sick of cleaning up after him and saving his sorry hide."

Lust groaned slightly, "Envy, we've been over this before..." Her voice held a slight twinge of annoyance, unusual for her.

---

On the other side of the door, Ed slowly opened his eyes. His head was still aching, but fresh gauze had been applied, and he felt slightly better. What had woken him? It was clearly the middle of the night, but there were voices outside. Trying to listen better, he stayed completely silent, and for a moment all he could hear was the furious beating of his heart. Finally, after a moment that seemed like eternity, they continued talking again.

---

"You should know this by now. We can't kill him yet..." She paused, and in a momentary action of paranoia, lowered her voice to a whisper. She glanced at the shut door, then glared slightly at Envy. "We need to talk about this somewhere else." She paused, and looked Envy in the eyes. "I'm getting impatient too, Envy, but we _must _wait until the opportune moment. It won't be long now, I promise."

Envy finally nodded, glancing at the door too. "Alright."

---

Silence. Nothing. Ed's ears almost burnt he listened so hard. But that was it, and he knew it, even though some part of his mind refused to accept it. As he tried to relax into the bed, a thousand thoughts whirled through is head, his pain temporarily forgotten. He was jerked back to reality, and wanted to scream in frustration. _How long had I been out? When's yet? How can I get out of here? _

Finally, he sighed. He needed a plan. As his eyes adjusted to the dark, he stared at the patterns on the ceiling above him. It was going to be a long night...

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**(A/N) Cliffie! Muhaha! I might not be able to update for a long time now, but I promise I will. At least 5 more reviews! R&R!**


	3. Denial

**(A/N) If you're reading this, thanks for waiting for me to update. Life's been completely hectic lately ;-; Anyways, here you go:**

**Disclaimer: ... Must I say this again? -deep breath- I do not own any charcters related to FullMetal Alchemist, manga, anime, video game, and dvd editions. AKA- nada.**

**Claimer: I own my imaginaton. And hopeless admiration of Envy and Kimbley. -koff- And that's good enough for me : )**

**... -silence-**

**Erm... Onto the story then, eh? **

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Ed lay flat on his back, watching the shadows in the room receed. Quietly as possible, he began to sit up. A rusty spring in his bed creaked in the silence, and he froze. For what seemed like forever, he watched the room gradually got took on the gray of dawn. Finally, he started moving up again. As he straightened up stiffly, hestifled a loud yawn. Gingerly, he rubbed his throbbing head with his left hand. His right arm lay like a deadweight on his other side. Creeping to the door, he stopped again, his clammy hand cold on the door knob. Twisting it slowly, he resisted the urge to swing it open and run. Ed eased the door open gently, trying to quiet the furious beating of his heart. 

Slipping into the bathroom, he looked at the sun creeping over the rim of the window. Jerked back to reality, he walked to the window, aiming to pull himself up and open the latch. Stretching to his tip-toes, he grimaced at the pain in his side. It was from the fight with Envy, he recalled. That seemed like a lifetime ago. Focusing on the task at hand he cursed. In his next life, he would be a basketball player. Stretching further, his fingers grasped the latch, but as quickly as they touched it, they slipped off. Angrily, he lifted his left hand up in the motion of clapping, but shifted his gaze down to his lame right arm. Ugh! He came this far! He couldn't give up now!

This was torment. Balanced on the top of the toilet, his arm extended to it's farthest, he mentally screamed as his nails just scraped the latch, falling short. Biting his lip, he regained his balance, glaring at the window. Trying one more time, he almost sang out in joy as his left hand grasped the handle. Impatient, he twisted the latch 9o degrees. An impossibly loud creaking broke the silence. Wanting to kick himself, he painstakingly pushed the window open, he inhaled the smell of crisp morning air. Time to go. He could only hope no one heard him.

----

On the other side of the house, Envy groaned. He was impossibly, inescapably bored. And when you're an ageless homunculi, boredom is a very, very, dangerous emotion. Hmm... he _could_ play mind games with the runt, or torment him. Besides, Dante said the runt had to be alive for it... She said nothing of being happy. Yes, that was it. Getting up from his catlike position on the recliner, he stretched. It wasn't particularly entertaining, but it would pass time.

Walking down the hall, he whistled a cheery tune. Chibi-san would be fun to toy with. A slight breeze played against his cheeks. Irked, he quickly realized the significance of it. Brisquely, he stepped into the bathroom where it was coming from. Of course. The empty unmade bed in the runt's room confirmed it.

This puny alchemist was begining to become an annoyance, no matter how talented he was. Peering out the window, he looked out at the rolling hills of the countryside. At least the runt had nowhere to go quick.

---

Ed stepped away from the house, still in shock. This was just his luck wasn't it? Making a full circle, he looked at the empty countryside. _Of course. _Envy and all the others just had to have their hideout in the bloody countryside. As he moved around to the front of the huge house to look for a road, questions whirled in his head. _Now what? Where should I go? What if someone catches me? What are the homunculi planning? Why do they want to kill me?_ One in particular kept recurring. Where to go?

As he rounded the corner, he saw a ribbon line of ashphalt stretching for as far as he could see, twisting a black ribbon amongst the hills. That settled it. He would follow the road, until the next settlement, and find out where he was. Then, he'd go back to Central, where Al was, hopefully.

Al! In the rush of trying to stay alive and escape, he'd completely forgotten about him. A new wave of questons washed over him. _Was he okay? What happened to Lab #5 anyways? Why were the homunculi making stones? And what did Scar have to do with this, if anything? Were the military searching for him, or was he presumed dead?_ The clouded uncertainty of what was happening, and the fact he couldn't be a part of it was infuriating.

---

Envy stared at the alchemist a few yards ahead of him dully. This pathetic mortal had been the source of his troubles for the last week. Did he ever stop playing escapee or tough guy, and just succumb? He no longer cared what Lust said, this runt was going to be dead within the hour. Or at least he'd wish he was.

"Going for a walk, alchemist?" Envy asked cooly, staring flatly at Ed's back. He jumped, to Envy's pleasure, but didn't turn around. Envy stepped foward. "Or.. were you... trying to escape?"


	4. Amazement

**(A/N) Firstly, thank you to all of my 1o reviewers:D No, I'm not being sarcastic. It really is great to know _someone_ likes what I'm writing. **

**Note: Yes, I know, I'm slowing down, but life is getting busy... **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Ed, Roy, or any of the characters of FullMetal Alchemist. I do, however own McKinnely, and this story D **

**Anywho...**

**ONTO THE STORY!!!!!!!**

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Post-apocalyptical. That was the word to describe it. The only word. As Roy Mustang looked at the scene unfolded before him, it sent shivers up and down his spine. Everything was completely reduced to rubble. And someone was under it. Normally, he'd be taking this in emotionlessly, the names were only names. Letters, data, statistics- just another body retrieval. This time was different, though. This name had a face. _Fullmetal runt_. Even as he thought of the alchemist's nick-name he'd given him, he felt his eyes sting and throat contract slightly, with the promise of tears. 

Clenching his gloved fists, he watched the men digging through the rubble, looking for a body, anything. As soon as he'd arrived at Central two days ago they'd left him alone to his own thoughts, aside from the few polite pleasantries. _'Good morning Colonel Mustang, sir' _they'd say, giving a sharp salute. They'd pretend to not notice his unshaven stubble, messy hair and stained uniform. But as soon as they thought he wasn't watching, they'd shoot worried looks at their companion than at him, tsk tsking like self-righteous old ladies.

It wasn't always that obvious. The first day, he'd had hope, expecting to see Ed leap out of the rubble, grinning like it was some big joke. That's the way he was, working so feverishly with his brother, and always stubbornly squeezing out of impossible situations unscathed, he seemed to almost seperate himself from the rest of this mortal human race. The second day, he'd still clung to the hope, but a small doubt wormed it's way into his head, saying it was a false hope. Now, it was plainly, starkly, horribly a body retrieval. And jerked back to cold reality, it was obvious that FullMetal was very, very, mortal. And it seemed he was also very, very, dead.

He was jerked back out of his reverie when Staff Sergeant what-his-face coughed slightly. Raising his eyes from the ground, he looked at the new recruit with raised eyebrows. Seeing he had the Colonel's attention he smartly saluted.

"Colonel Mustang, Sir?" The unknown solider said it like a question, fidgeting.

"Yes?" His voice sounded hollow and artificial to himself.

"We... errr... have encountered a problem..." The way he said it, Colonel presumed it was a lot more then a 'problem' That explained why the Sergeant looked ready to bolt, in fear that the renouned Flame Alchemist would unleash his all-powerful fury on him. Resisting the urge to laugh bitterly at this presumption, he sighed slightly.

"That problem being?" He let an impatient edge slip into his voice, in case the the solider decided to dwadle any longer then he already was.

"Well- umm... you see..." He paused, almost as if weighing whether or not he should run now, or spit it out and brace himself. "We... can't..."

Mustang sighed loudly. "Can't _what_?"

"We... uhh... we can't seem to find the body, sir?" He said the last part so softly Colonel wasn't sure if he'd heard right.

Roy had to pause to regain his composure. To anyone that didn't know him well, it was nothing. But inside, he was reeling. "You're saying you can't find him?" Without meaning to, he clenched his fists. This was impossible! How could a dead body just walk away?

Stiffening, the Sergeant nodded. "Yes, sir." He cringed inside, wishing he hadn't been sadled with this job.

Gritting his teeth, he fought to keep his voice calm and steady. "Sergeant-"

"McKinnely," the solider piped up, cringing inside, wishing he hadn't been sadled with this job.

"Sergeant _McKinnely_, thank you." "Are you suggesting that this body- the body of Edward Elric, State Alchemist just _got up and walked away_?" Roy put an emphasis on the last words, fixing the Sergeant with an icy glare.

"With all due respect, Colonel Mustang sir, our men have been through all the rubble. There is **no **body there, nor anywhere else." McKinnely stood up slightly, meeting the Colonels gaze.

Roy knew, inside, that if they said there was no body, chances were there wasn't. These men knew how to do their job, and if they couldn't find it, no one could. The Sergeant spoke up, punctuating Roy's thoughts.

"We did though-" He began, eager to change the topic, "We did find this in the wreckage. It's a little dented and dusty, but-" He stopped, goggling at his superior's expression.

Silently, Roy took the object from McKinnely's open hand. Fingering it gently, as if it might disintegrate, he looked up to meet the Sergeant's curious gaze.


	5. Realization

**(A/N) New chappie Anyhow, not much to say for this one...**

**Disclaimer: Lordie, must I do this AGAIN? I do not own any characters by Hiromu Akuwa, including but not limited to the Elric brothers, Roy Mustang, Envy, Lust, etc.**

**Claimer: I do, however own McKinnely... Meh. Not nearly as cool as ENVY! -coughhackgaspwheeze- Anyway, here's the story...**

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A watch. A gold incrusted watch. Roy flipped it over incredulously, and, sure enough, lo and behold, on the back was the military insignia. 

_Flashback:_

_Across my desk from me was the alchemist, Edward Elric, glaring slightly._

_"Well? Did I pass or fail?" He asked impatiently. _

_Staring at Edward, I handed him a box from my pocket.Curiously, he opened it, looking up at me for an explanation. "That watch-" I said, choosing my words carefully, "That watch is proof that you are a state alchemist. Guard it with your life," I paused again, handing him a certificate that stated he was an alchemist and his new codename._

_He held it up to the light. "Looks a little bit flimsy for something so important, don't you think?" _

_I stared back flatly, wishing it was coffee break already. "If you bothered to read it, Mr.Elric, you'd notice it has your codename on it. And I advise you treat your superiors with respect." I added, annoyed._

_Ignoring my last comment, he read the paper. "FullMetal Alchemist, eh? A bit of a mouthful." He grinned, but solemly tucked the watch into his pocket..._

And Roy knew, despite his joking, that FullMetal would keep the watch, and, truly, guard it with his life. So, then, if that watch he'd tucked into his pocket in what seemed like so long ago, then... But that wouldn't explain the lack of his body. Unless they completely destroyed it. But who _was_ 'they'? And where the hell was the body? Unless he'd been kidnapped... But why? Questions whirled around in his head endlessly, until Staff Sergeant McKinnely interrupted.

"Sir? Colonel Mustang, Sir?" Roy realized he was grasping the watch so tightly his knuckles were white.

"Err.." For a moment, he hesitated, a flicker of uncertainty, but immeadiately resumed his business-like manner. "I want to know who was in Lab 5, and what they were doing. He motioned to the prision next to the rubble. "Ask the guard on duty in the watchtower at the time of the explosion if he saw anyone leaving or entering the lab," Roy paused. "You are dismissed"

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**(A/N) Okay, I kinda forgot about this story, so I put this up. Sorry it's so small and horrible / **

**REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!**


	6. Thoughts

**(A/N) Agh. Fanfiction sucks. I finished a whole chapter and realized I made a mistake with one of the settings and pressed delete, thinking that meant it would go back to being a document... Hours of work lost. Poof. So, excuse me for this lame chapter, but yeah...**

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Alphonse stared blankly ahead, his hands resting slightly on his knees. Thoughts were a turmoil in his head, chaotic ocean of doubts. _How could Nii-San be gone, just like that? Was he even his brother?_ Instantly, he regretted his thoughts. Ed WAS his brother. _Wasn't he?_ Augh! _Stop it!!!_ Angrily, he tried to clear his thoughts, but the words just kept on looping back into his conciousness like a horrible carousel. "Ed is gone." It was the Colonel's words, from that fateful day, when he stopped thinking Ed would be found alive. And than the telegram, from him, confirming his worst fears. He couldn't hear the Colonel's voice then, but imagined it the way he was thinking it now, clipped, brisque, and quick. "Ed is gone" Just like that, it was over with. For him. _But me, _he thought, _Not so lucky... _

Plagued by his conceince, all he could do was blame himself. It was all his fault Ed died. He could've stopped him from going inside the lab, it was he who saw Ed last, it was he who was responsible for him. And most of all, it was he who let him start this stupid search for a stone that probably didn't exist in the first place. _What did it matter if I can't feel? All the better for me. What does it matter that I can't ever sleep? So what?_ _More time to think about Ed. _The thought slipped in, so quickly Al almost didn't realize it. Wanting to scream, Al quickly shook his head to clear his thoughts and looked out the window of the compartment to see the landscape whizzing by. It was a nice view, but nothing new, he and Ed had travelled many times_. Ed. Not again... Ugh. Oh, Nii-_San he thought_, I miss you so much. Why did you have to leave me_? No. Ed was NOT dead. He was... just_... Just what, huh_? a voice in his head put in_. Just what_?

"Al?" Winry's voice shook him out of his reverie. "Al, we're almost here."

"Oh," He said flatly, but quickly thought better of it and added "Okay. Can I help with anything?" he asked, gesturing at the two bulging suitcases on the racks above them.

Winry shook her head and replied, "No need, I'm okay," but Al could dectect the false cheeriness under her voice. Nodding mutely, he stood up as the train jerked to a halt and the steam whistle blew a final time, announcing their arrival.

As they waited for the rest of the train to clear, Al noticed Winry watching him out of the corner of her eye and smiling. But it wasn't a smile of friendship, it was a smile of sadness, as if he was a lost cause, the new object of pity. He wanted to scream at Winry, _Aren't you just a part of this as me? He was your friend too! You can't just pretend you never knew him! _But of course, that wasn't Al's nature, grieving or not.

Thoughts still turmoiled around in his head as much as they were when he'd boarded the train, and still as he walked off with Winry ahead of him, in a daze.

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